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From the Firehose

Dating Psychology By Oddplanet on  Sat, Aug 26th, 2023 @ 8:28:57 PM  87  0    

This is a question that many people may wonder, especially if they are new to the lesbian dating scene or have experienced some difficulties in finding a compatible partner. The answer is yes, there are yellow and red flags in lesbian dating, just like in any other kind of relationship. However, some of these flags[READ MORE]


Are there yellow and red flags in lesbian dating also?

This is a question that many people may wonder, especially if they are new to the lesbian dating scene or have experienced some difficulties in finding a compatible partner. The answer is yes, there are yellow and red flags in lesbian dating, just like in any other kind of relationship. However, some of these flags may be different or more subtle than the ones you are used to, so it is important to be aware of them and know how to deal with them.

What are yellow and red flags?

Yellow and red flags are signs that indicate that something is wrong or potentially harmful in a relationship. They can be related to the behavior, personality, values, or expectations of your partner or yourself. Yellow flags are warning signs that suggest that there may be some issues or incompatibilities that need to be addressed or resolved. Red flags are alarm signs that indicate that there are serious problems or dangers that require immediate action or intervention.

Some examples of yellow flags are:

– Your partner is always busy or unavailable when you want to spend time with them.
– Your partner is secretive or vague about their past, their family, their friends, or their work.
– Your partner has different views or goals than you on important matters, such as marriage, children, finances, religion, etc.
– Your partner is overly jealous, possessive, or controlling of your time, your activities, your friends, or your appearance.
– Your partner is emotionally distant, unresponsive, or inconsistent in their communication or affection.
– Your partner is disrespectful, rude, or dismissive of your opinions, feelings, needs, or boundaries.
– Your partner has a history of cheating, lying, or breaking promises.

Some examples of red flags are:

– Your partner is abusive, violent, or threatening towards you or others.
– Your partner is manipulative, gaslighting, or coercive of your decisions, actions, or beliefs.
– Your partner is addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, or other harmful substances or behaviors.
– Your partner has untreated mental health issues that affect their mood, stability, or functioning.
– Your partner is isolating you from your family, friends, or support network.
– Your partner is pressuring you to do things that you are not comfortable with or that go against your values or identity.
– Your partner has a criminal record or a history of legal troubles.

Are there any examples in lesbian literature or movies also?

Yes, there are many examples of yellow and red flags in lesbian literature or movies also. Some of them are:

– In The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith (also known as Carol), Therese falls in love with Carol, a married woman who is going through a divorce and custody battle. Carol’s husband hires a private detective to follow them and use their relationship as evidence against her. Carol has to choose between her daughter and her lover. Therese also struggles with her career and identity as a young woman in the 1950s. This novel shows the challenges and risks of being a lesbian in a homophobic society. [1]
– In The Color Purple by Alice Walker, Celie is abused by her father and then by her husband. She finds solace and love in Shug Avery, a singer and her husband’s mistress. Shug helps Celie discover her self-worth and sexuality. However, Shug also has other lovers and does not commit to Celie. Celie also reconnects with her sister Nettie, who was separated from her by their father. This novel shows the resilience and strength of black women in the face of oppression and violence. [2]
– In Blue Is the Warmest Color by Julie Maroh (also adapted into a film), Clementine falls in love with Emma, a blue-haired artist. They have a passionate and tumultuous relationship that spans several years. Clementine faces rejection from her family and friends because of her sexuality. Emma also cheats on Clementine with another woman. Clementine dies young due to an illness. This graphic novel shows the intensity and tragedy of young love. [3]

Why are yellow and red flags important to recognize?

Recognizing yellow and red flags in lesbian dating is important for several reasons. First of all, it can help you avoid getting into unhealthy or toxic relationships that can harm your well-being, happiness, or safety. Secondly, it can help you identify and address any issues or conflicts that may arise in your relationship and work on improving them. Thirdly, it can help you respect yourself and your partner and establish clear and healthy boundaries and expectations. Finally, it can help you find a partner who is compatible with you and who shares your values and goals.

How to deal with yellow and red flags?

Dealing with yellow and red flags in lesbian dating can be challenging but not impossible. Here are some tips on how to handle them:

– Trust your intuition. If something feels off or wrong in your relationship, do not ignore it or rationalize it away. Listen to your gut and pay attention to the signs.
– Communicate openly. If you notice a yellow flag in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Express your feelings and concerns and try to understand their perspective. Be honest and respectful and avoid blaming or accusing. Seek to find a solution that works for both of you.
– Seek help if needed. If you encounter a red flag in your relationship, do not hesitate to seek help from someone you trust. This could be a friend, a family member, a counselor, a therapist, a support group, or a hotline. Do not be ashamed or afraid to ask for help. You deserve to be safe and happy.
– Know when to walk away. If the yellow flag turns into a red flag or if the red flag persists despite your efforts to resolve it, it may be time to end the relationship. Do not stay in a relationship that is harmful to you or your partner. You have the right to leave and find someone who treats you well.

Conclusion

Yellow and red flags are common in lesbian dating as well as in any other kind of relationship. They are signs that indicate that something is wrong or potentially harmful in a relationship. Recognizing them can help you avoid getting into unhealthy or toxic relationships and find a partner who is compatible with you. Dealing with them can be challenging but not impossible. You can communicate openly with your partner about the issues and seek help if needed. You can also know when to walk away from a relationship that is not good for you. Remember that you deserve to be loved and respected in a relationship.

Sources:

[1] https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/318643/the-price-of-salt-by-patricia-highsmith/
[2] https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/118126/the-color-purple-by-alice-walker/
[3] https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313646/blue-is-the-warmest-color-by-julie-maroh/

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https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a27352264/lesbian-red-flags/

 
 

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